As I have been conducting these experiments I have recieved plenty of verbal feedback on the subject. I encourage you all to leave comments on the page so others can here your responses too. Here are a some thoughts and bits of advice people have passed on to me.
1. Women can pick up any man they want, and get what they want
2. Read Steve Harvey's "Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man"
3. Do not text the guy you are interested in. You can not tell the tone of their voice, and it is pure laziness in really trying to get to know someone from both ends.
4. Do not sleep with a man until after 3 months has passed.
5. Men are intimidated when you look too good.
6. Men want to feel WANTED not NEEDED.
7. Ask a guy out for dinner and see what he says.
8. Milwaukee men are not aggressive.
My next adventure is actually with two of my male friends and my wing lady. The men will act as if they are not with us but take the opportunity to observe us in action and for them to try picking up women. This may be a disaster. Or possibly not a factor at all. We shall see. Im a bit nervous, but hopefully the nerves will fuel me. Leave your thoughts and stay tuned!
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I think a lot of the verbal feedback is really good!!
ReplyDeleteI have a crew of guy friends that I have been close with for the last decade (seriously), and have never dated any of them. and I can say that I have heard all kinds of things about the women they have dated. And the NUMBER ONE complaint that they have about their significant others is clingyness-- the feeling needed and not wanted.
Guys are turned off by women whose heads explode if they just want to chill solo for a night, or stay at home and get some work done. It drives them crazy when having a relationship means that they lose their privacy, their space and their freedom. I think girls have a tendency to get attached quickly, and want to spend the night every night, hang out all the time, etc. What my friends say they find really attractive is a woman that they connect with and have fun with BUT is capable of holding her own at a party, and likes HER space too. It is a sign of confidence when a girl doesn't need to be nailed to her man to feel secure and comfortable in her own skin.
I like the whole "intimidates when you look to good" bit, too. I think that is definitely true. Guys as a whole LOVE it when their girls dress up, and look amazing, but they don't want that all the time. If you are just hanging out and watching a movie, make up can be optional. They like girls that aren't afraid to get dirty, to play... it shows them that their girl is spontaneous and fun.
texting I agree with, too... I have gotten into fights with people I have dated over texting, and it was because the tone of voice could not be read and there were misunderstandings. As much as we have all grow comfortable with texting, emailing, and instant messaging, we shouldn't forget how to talk INTO our phones as well.
And I have read bits and pieces of Steve Harvey's book, and a couple things come to mind:
1) what you had to do to get him is what you have to do to keep him.
Meaning that women sometimes feel, once they have found a man, that they don't have to "try" anymore. No matter how long you are with a guy, the random acts that show appreciation, the little love notes, etc mean a lot.
2) The number one reason that men cheat or become restless or start to become irritated with their partners is that their partners get into a mentality of "well, I am so lucky to have him, that I will just go along with whatever he wants, and not seek the best for myself"
Meaning, that people who take care of themselves first are attractive. If they see that you are sacrificing things that you want for yourself, or not going after things you want, or not being a voice in the relationship, men lose some respect. Some men take advantage of it (a sign of that lost respect). Women should know what they are worth, and not just accept a lower price.
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ReplyDeleteI have read Steve Harvey’s “Act Like A Lady, Think Like a Man” and thought it had some good insight to it. Although I agree with it, I was a bit frustrated because you can’t use his advice until you get the man to approach you. The few guys that have approached me lately have had a girl. Why approach me and form a friendship over the course of a few weeks just to later say you have a girl. I appreciate them telling me the truth, but come on; don’t lead me on like there could be something and then say by the way I have a girl. One in particular really frustrated me to no end. When I found out he had a girl I pose two questions. Where was your girl the last couple of weeks and why are you building a friendship/ relationship with me knowing you have a girl from jump, only to voluntarily tell me you have one later on. The answer to those ended up being: she thought I was with my dudes and you are a sweet person so I enjoyed our friendship, but I think you deserve more better than me. After some discussion he asked could we remain friends and text each other for convo. (Eyes rolling) I felt that was so selfish on his part. He has someone, what would I look like spending time texting him instead of focusing on someone who is unattached and can possibly build something with me. Yet again, I get the “you’re a great friend, you deserve guy better than me” speech. If I hear that one more time I think I am going to scream.
ReplyDeleteThe advice in the book and the advice that is listed is great understanding men, and keeping the man, but you have to get the guy first. That is the part I would like to get some sound advice on.