Advice

As I have been conducting these experiments I have recieved plenty of verbal feedback on the subject. I encourage you all to leave comments on the page so others can here your responses too. Here are a some thoughts and bits of advice people have passed on to me.


1. Women can pick up any man they want, and get what they want

2. Read Steve Harvey's "Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man"

3. Do not text the guy you are interested in. You can not tell the tone of their voice, and it is pure laziness in really trying to get to know someone from both ends.

4. Do not sleep with a man until after 3 months has passed.

5. Men are intimidated when you look too good.

6. Men want to feel WANTED not NEEDED.

7. Ask a guy out for dinner and see what he says.

8. Milwaukee men are not aggressive.

My next adventure is actually with two of my male friends and my wing lady. The men will act as if they are not with us but take the opportunity to observe us in action and for them to try picking up women. This may be a disaster. Or possibly not a factor at all. We shall see. Im a bit nervous, but hopefully the nerves will fuel me. Leave your thoughts and stay tuned!

Intimidating, Say What?!?!

I had a great conversation with my ex-boyfriend tonight on why guys do not approach females. I have been singing to the heavens that females feel neglected by men of today. I walk around with some of the hottest girls in town and we are not given the time of day. Maybe a look, a smile, a nod, a whisper about us to one of their friends; words that never reach our yearning ears. Nothing proactive. What does a girl have to do get some attention???

"Its not you, its them". Says my boy in South Carolina.
"But, why! I just want a conversation, a hello, hell, a date if it comes to that. I am among the thousands of females on this earth experiencing a drought. We are in need of sustenance." I retorted back.

As Mr. Carolina described it, men are intimidated. What he told me actually made sense. We have all seen the girls at the clubs in their stilettos, shiny cute dresses, and hair and nails done to the nine. They look good and even you are intimidated by their beauty. Well have you ever thought that you may look like that to men and not even know it. No, we do not all look the same, have the same style, nor dress like those gorgeous girls at the clubs. Each of us have our personal characteristics that make men intimidated.

Mr. Carolina said that I may not dress like a Kardashian but my style is in their range and my demeanor comes off as a girl you can not just sleep with. Then he described one of my girlfriends. She dresses much plainer, but she is a pretty girl that a man doesn't want to disappoint or lead a stray. OK, well at least I got a bit of a confidence boost and now know men don't think I am a pariah. But still, I don't want to be neglected just because I am seen as a catch that they are unsure of being able to get. Nor do I want to lower my standards or personal characteristics in order to help boost male confidence.

So whats a girl to do?

Well... I don't have an answer. The solution for now is to wait and know that there are go-getter men out there who will hopefully approach me in the near future. We shall see!

They look, but they dont touch

"You spot a target yet?" yells one of my girls over the music.
"Ive seen some but I'm not sure about this setting and dynamic," I yell back into her ear.

We checked out Suite Nightclub last night. A posh spot filled with a musical mix of the latest hits, ladies in their best dresses, and men in their metro-sexual " I look good" outfits. Most importantly, the clientele were all 10's. Everyone was beautiful or at least tucked in and pulled out whatever they needed to in order to become a 10. You don't find Milwaukee's Best all hanging out at one location, so I was very pleased to have several options. The problem was, the dynamic.

The music was loud (as you can only expect for a dance club), it was crowded, and you had the usual group of people who stood on the sidelines like they were too cool for school. When it comes to nightclubs, I tuck that cool card away and get ready for a good time. So that's what the ladies and I did. We grooved to the bass, occasionally letting our lips linger on our champagne flutes. Just looking sexy as shit. Or maybe not sexy enough...

I got a lot of lingering looks from the assembled wallflowers, but NO action. A group of 5 gentleman had to pick their jaws off the ground when I walked by, but no one said a word. They only whispered and smiled back and forth to each other. In another instance I made eye contact with an interest. He looked back at me giving me the "sexy eye". I gave him a nod that clearly said, come over here. Did he move a beat. Nope. Just took a swig of his drink with his eyes, still, locked on me. Maybe that drink did something for him, because 20mins later we danced to two songs together. Never exchanging a word. Then he walked away as if he was satisfied with what he got, not needing more. What?!?! Its like he just hit it and quit it. Wierd!

Lastly I decided to make a move and see what happened. I spotted the perfect guy for me. Great build, clean cut, beautiful smile, and chocolate skin. I sashayed on over to him, tapped his right hand, placed my card in it, gave a smile/nod and walked back to my wing lady. Oh yeah it felt smooth...but today I realize it was passive. Homeboy has no idea what to do with what I gave him now. Instead he just has the pride of being picked up by a female without any effort.

All in all, it turned out to be a fun and informative night. My girls and I looked great. We drank, we danced, we admired, and we met a really cool group of guys who just enjoyed dancing for the fun of it. By the end of the night, we exchanged information. Hopefully they will invite us to their next danceathon, because they were a great time.

So what did SistaYvonne learn:

1. Having a good wing lady helps so much with your confidence, mood, and vibe. Thanks chica!

2. Do not be passive if you hit on a guy. Dropping them a gift and then leaving makes them interested, but also leaves them hanging. They have no idea who you are, and what you are really about. Hence the reason why the PUA Bible says do not buy a woman a drink. Anyone can do that, but how many people can hold a good conversation?

3. A nightclub is NOT the best places to work on your pick up skills. Its a hard dynamic due to the given atmosphere.

4. If you are in a location with nearly all 10's that means you are not the only Alpha Female in the room. Therefore, dont expect every man to fall all over you. They have options, so they can be picky. Just as women may not take their first pick when walking in a room, men wont either.

What I need to work on:

1. Using my eyes and smile to get a guy to do more than just eye me and smile back.

2. More ways to start a conversation and approaching someone without being awkward. The drop off and run doesn't work. Trust me. I now know.

3. How to grab the energy of a room and take it over. Basically, become a magnet, all eyes on me.

Stay tuned for my next adventure. And if you are in Milwaukee, or know about the area, I would LOVE suggestions as to good places to check out for finding a diverse group of men.

Not Again!!!!

Get ready for this one. And maybe I feel like a turtle out of its shell because this occurred 30min. ago or it could just be a straight up awkward and uncomfortable situation... again.

So the ladies and I roll up to Mikey's. Yep the perfect ladies night with pearl vodka cocktails. We are an eclectic group. Four different shapes, ethnicities, and energies. Its truly beautiful. We ruled the bar, Alpha Females to the max. Then I see my target. A smooth brother with a fitted white t-shirt, hat, and clean cut beard. He was a little short for my taste, but I could deal for now. Heck, I just need to practice with what I got, right?

This time I try the 50/50 Abigail. What does that mean? Founded by my partner in crime, Abigail, this is a personal seductive move ingrained in this woman's body. There are two elements. You can use one, or the other, or both for maximum effect. Sexy smile - nod of the chin to the shoulder - with a twist. Or the point and hither. Point three times at him, and then beckon three times to yourself. I decided on the point and hither. Worked instantly. (It also helped that we made eye contact 1min. earlier).

He approaches the table, we make small talk, I give him my card and tell him it was nice meeting him. Yeah buddy! I closed off the situation this time. Then other men started coming in, and us ladies were still the Alpha Females. We could have grabbed any man that we wanted up in that piece. To add on to our glory, homeboy comes back with my card in his hand, makes a suggestion of another bar to check out. Card. In. Hand. What does that mean? That means homeboy has been showing off my card to the other brothas' that walked in, and thinking about the short conversation that transpired between us earlier.

Then it happened.

Once Again Insert "Ughhhh" Here.

Who walks in... but the man I kind of dated for about 3 1/2wks and things ended off REALLY BADLY. I was definitely the bigger woman out of it, but we are NOT on speaking terms. Man Milwaukee is just too Motha' F'in' Small!!!! I have never seen this dude out since we broke things off. And the one night I am trying to do my thang he pops up. Go Figure.

So I play it cool, inform the ladies that Mista' Man has walked in. I go to the bathroom. My Eastern sista' comes in.

"Hey you wanna know something funny? Your Old boy is talking to your target." WHAT?!?!?!

A.) Old boy has probably seen my business card with my picture on it from New Boy.

B.) Old boy might have made a comment about me to New boy.

C.) I have to make contact with New boy before the end of the night and now its going to be all types of weird!

We leave the bathroom, the bar has cleared a little, and of course there's Old boy talking to New boy. Two of my girls decide they need to leave early. My Eastern sista', a male friend of ours, who has just arrived, and myself stay to finish up our drinks.

Now its time for us to leave. What do I do?

Well...I decide to do nothing. Which I announced, but apparently not all parties heard. I walk out quickly not even looking toward Old or New boy with my girl trailing behind. We reach outside, and my girl turns to me and says, "I awkwardly lagged behind a little and looked over at the men because I thought you were going to say good bye."

Insert another "Ughhhh" here.

She told me that New boy waved really awkwardly at my back, Old boy tried to look away while I was booking it out the door. Take a moment to picture that in your head. *Moment* Yeah... looks messy to me too.

What did we learn from this trip:

1. The 50/50 Abigail works like a charm, even from long distances across the room.

2. Milwaukee is REALLY small.

3. You can end any conversation you want by giving information, saying Ill talk to you later in the night, or alluding to possibly meeting up again next week at the same spot.

What do I need help with:

1. Stop allowing past encounters to hinder my game

2. As an Alpha Female, do not show off that you know you are among Alpha Females in any location.

So now I just hope New boy gives me a call and Old boy hasn't said a thing to him about me and our past situation. Ill let you know. Oh and as a follow up with Target #1 from my first night, he emailed me today saying we should party this weekend together. I'm still deciding on how to respond and what I really want. What do yall think???

First Attempt

Balls to the walls ladies! I did it. Began my new experiment of picking up men. I am still working on the perameters of what this experiment should be, but I figured I should just jump in and swim. Heres what happened...

Its amazing how in Milwaukee you can barely find more than two places that foster a diverse crowd of people. After searching a couple of bars/clubs my winglady and I settled on a hot lil spot on the East side. Plenty of single ladies and men all looking to get a buzz and meet someone interesting. That was the funniest thing to look at. Large chunks of singles hanging together, looking around, calculating how to begin a conversation with there particular mystery man or woman.

I was among those chunks of people, but I was willing to pursue the situation. Then we spotted him. A smooth little dip and shoulder bop caught my eye and after much confidence coaching I went for it. Tapped Mr. Man on the shoulder, told him my girl and I saw him dancing and thought he was interesting. When he gets a moment he should could come talk to us. Then I walked away.

DAMN!!! That shit was scary. But it worked...

15min. later Mr. Man was at my side chatting it up with me and my girl. Then the ball dropped.

*INSERT a long "Ughhhh", that I clocked in my head in this moment*

I had hit on this guy before at another bar. Yep, with the same winglady. He was nice enough, but nothing came of it, because HE didnt make anything of it. That was a good and awkward moment. So him and I chat, his friend comes over and chats, Mr. Man chats some more, my girl chats with him, I dance with him, my girl dances with him...yeah...we hadnt figured out exactly how to close off the situation. Eventually he decides that he needs to check on his boys. I write my e-mail addi on a piece of a paper and give it to him and peace out of that spot.

OK, so what did we learn from this:

1. As soon as you see a target, take a breath and go for it. Same situation as Bandaids :)
2. Give him the option so he has to work a lil bit. And you can find out whether or not he is really interested
3. Take a good look at him before you actually go for it, to make sure you havent picked him up before, because that was AWKWARD!

What I need to figure out from this situation:

1. How to close the deal off when I am done with the conversation.

Any suggestions???? Leave your thoughts, so I can apply them tonight on my next man hunt adventure.

Single In The City

How you feeling Milwaukee!!!!! ....... Yeah..... I hear that silence too. Generally it occurs on Sunday, Tuesday and during the winter. During the winter?!? I thought those from the North were accustomed to -20 degree weather and winds up to 30mph. "Of course not, we are human" , says one of the stitchers at The Rep. Well then, since its cold as mess outside we should all be hugged up with something good to warm our body and soul. Red wine, Brueggers tomato basil soup, a man...

* SCREECHING NOISE IS HEARD IMMEDIATELY**

A Man? But where do you find a Good Single Man these days. Well I decided to do some searching. Maybe the good ol' TV situation would work. Sit at Starbucks and my tall drink of water walks in. Nope, how about just some skater kids, a mom with her three daughters, and a coworker.

Alright next stop, jazz at a really cute bar (Mikeys) with a variety of visitors. The band was hot and so was the crowd. All ten of us including me, myself, and I.

Last chance a hip bar/restaurant in the middle of downtown. Known to have plenty of people always on the weekends. Definitely had some cute prospects but apparently eye contact and a nice smile don't work in this day and age.

Ladies tell me what we gotta do? There are several accomplished, gorgeous, sweet women out here, but where are the men to fulfill our wants and needs. I'm COLD! I want a secure arm around my waist with a body temperature warmer than mine.

Maybe I should get a pet. Nope, nope, that wont fulfill ALL my needs.

Yes this is the age old question, but I mean fo' real, I want an answer. Soooo I plan on doing a lil' hunting and gathering. My homeboy told me about a book him and a friend of his are reading about how to pick up women. I am interested in discovering how to pick up a man. How to choose the right ones and not come off as a flighty. Because us good women out here are in search of something worth our time, but we (myself included) are always WAITING for it to come to us. So lets turn the tides a bit and try it the other way. Ill let you know how it goes. Be sure to stay tuned.