Simple is the Key

I ventured to another nightclub Sunday night for some Caribbean music. I wasn't planning on hunting, but of course my eyes are always open.

Philly is turning out to have much more aggressive men than Milwaukee and Cherry Hill. That's an "A" plus plus in my book!

So we arrive at Cavanaugh's Riverdeck and start the night off with the signature rum and pineapple. My girl and I sit and chat while the crowd slowly seeps in. Next thing I know we have been approached by the DJ. DJ buys us drinks and chats us up for about an hour. He was warm, funny, and interesting but he revealed his age,39, and I had to give my little speech.

I said, "I am sorry, you are very sweet, I enjoy talking to you, but that is older than what I am looking for." Mr. DJ is Jamaican, therefore he was not taking no for an answer. He continued to chat us up, ask to take pictures, and insist on taking me out to dinner on Tuesday. A Soca song came on my girl pulled me to the dance floor.

It was a slow night so the regulars were taking over the dance floor and everyone else sat at the bar or watched from the sidelines. Out of nowhere comes the one guy that I happened to go on a date with nearly a full year ago. Powa is an American Haitian who records beats and music for a living, can dance like whoa, and has a hot hot double hot body. He looked much scruffier than before but still had the moves. I decided not to say anything to him because he was saying hello to every other girl on the deck. I am full of myself and can not stand when I am not unique to an individual. So I ignored him and refused to fall within the category of the random females that he knew.

As him and his boys took over the main dance floor I stood near the stage and did my two step with a few twists and rolls. Next thing I know, another man, who I realized later that I had danced with at this very club last year, came over and gave me a real good wine.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term "wine" it is in reference to a winding hip and waist movement generally done to Calypso, Soca, and most recently Dancehall music. People wine by themselves or with a partner. You will find that those from Trinidad can wine the best *wink*.

All a lady needs is one man to approach, and then all the other men want to try a bite too. Well I got a bit more than that. The main guy who was taking over the dance floor came over to me and of course I gave him a good wine to show him that he was not the only one that could do something out there. We started chatting and eventually made our way to a quieter portion of the deck to talk. I loved his style, he had dreads (something I tend to drool over), and seemed like an interesting person to have in my circle. He talked a bit too much for me, but I rode it out.

When we got back to the dance floor his homegirl was definitely mean grilling me as if I did something to her and she started to dance harder, Powa made sure to push up on several girls for the next two songs, and Mr. DJ immediately came over to stake his claims again. Such a funny thing to watch how everyone revamped their tactics to gain attention or pretend that they were cool. The girl who was my interest's friend even took the time to grab him for one full slow song. When I say grab, I mean that she wrapped her arms around his neck and did not let go till the end of the song while he didn't even touch her with his hands. It looked like a really sad attempt to claiming territory.

By the end of the night we exchanged numbers, he walked me to my car, and Powa acknowledged my existence by playfully wining up on me at the end of the night. Oh yeah, and Mr. DJ insisted that when I post our pictures on facebook that I leave my phone number for him.

What did I learn from this night? Less is best.

I was fully covered up with a knee length 3/4 sleeved dress, tights, and knee high boots. What got the men was that it accentuated all of my curves. Also I danced, but didn't dance too hard while standing solo. Two females in particular were working really hard for attention. One chic in white rubbed her body and showed her panties when her dress rode up. The girl that was mean grilling me allowed Powa to pick her up and wine on her and she got in the middle of their dancing in order to follow along or show them up. Yes she danced with her friends, but no one else except the nasty men wanted to dance with her. She was bringing the wrong type of attention and therefore receiving the wrong type of men. I have definitely been "that" girl before, but being able to observe and think over it, I can see the kind of attention received.

In all it was a successful night. Looks like I may be getting closer and closer to my goal.

They look, but they dont touch

"You spot a target yet?" yells one of my girls over the music.
"Ive seen some but I'm not sure about this setting and dynamic," I yell back into her ear.

We checked out Suite Nightclub last night. A posh spot filled with a musical mix of the latest hits, ladies in their best dresses, and men in their metro-sexual " I look good" outfits. Most importantly, the clientele were all 10's. Everyone was beautiful or at least tucked in and pulled out whatever they needed to in order to become a 10. You don't find Milwaukee's Best all hanging out at one location, so I was very pleased to have several options. The problem was, the dynamic.

The music was loud (as you can only expect for a dance club), it was crowded, and you had the usual group of people who stood on the sidelines like they were too cool for school. When it comes to nightclubs, I tuck that cool card away and get ready for a good time. So that's what the ladies and I did. We grooved to the bass, occasionally letting our lips linger on our champagne flutes. Just looking sexy as shit. Or maybe not sexy enough...

I got a lot of lingering looks from the assembled wallflowers, but NO action. A group of 5 gentleman had to pick their jaws off the ground when I walked by, but no one said a word. They only whispered and smiled back and forth to each other. In another instance I made eye contact with an interest. He looked back at me giving me the "sexy eye". I gave him a nod that clearly said, come over here. Did he move a beat. Nope. Just took a swig of his drink with his eyes, still, locked on me. Maybe that drink did something for him, because 20mins later we danced to two songs together. Never exchanging a word. Then he walked away as if he was satisfied with what he got, not needing more. What?!?! Its like he just hit it and quit it. Wierd!

Lastly I decided to make a move and see what happened. I spotted the perfect guy for me. Great build, clean cut, beautiful smile, and chocolate skin. I sashayed on over to him, tapped his right hand, placed my card in it, gave a smile/nod and walked back to my wing lady. Oh yeah it felt smooth...but today I realize it was passive. Homeboy has no idea what to do with what I gave him now. Instead he just has the pride of being picked up by a female without any effort.

All in all, it turned out to be a fun and informative night. My girls and I looked great. We drank, we danced, we admired, and we met a really cool group of guys who just enjoyed dancing for the fun of it. By the end of the night, we exchanged information. Hopefully they will invite us to their next danceathon, because they were a great time.

So what did SistaYvonne learn:

1. Having a good wing lady helps so much with your confidence, mood, and vibe. Thanks chica!

2. Do not be passive if you hit on a guy. Dropping them a gift and then leaving makes them interested, but also leaves them hanging. They have no idea who you are, and what you are really about. Hence the reason why the PUA Bible says do not buy a woman a drink. Anyone can do that, but how many people can hold a good conversation?

3. A nightclub is NOT the best places to work on your pick up skills. Its a hard dynamic due to the given atmosphere.

4. If you are in a location with nearly all 10's that means you are not the only Alpha Female in the room. Therefore, dont expect every man to fall all over you. They have options, so they can be picky. Just as women may not take their first pick when walking in a room, men wont either.

What I need to work on:

1. Using my eyes and smile to get a guy to do more than just eye me and smile back.

2. More ways to start a conversation and approaching someone without being awkward. The drop off and run doesn't work. Trust me. I now know.

3. How to grab the energy of a room and take it over. Basically, become a magnet, all eyes on me.

Stay tuned for my next adventure. And if you are in Milwaukee, or know about the area, I would LOVE suggestions as to good places to check out for finding a diverse group of men.