This is Why They Don't Call

I think I have had one of Oprah's "aha moments". Here is what happened...

Yesterday while driving back from Atlanta I got a phone call from Mr. DJ. I told him we were still on our way back. He should have already known, considering that I gave him this same information Friday as I was heading to Atlanta.

Mr. DJ said he was hoping to see me tonight. Ok, that is flattering but at the same time eager beaverish.

Then he asked me to call when I got home. I said alright, and told him that would be back between 11pm and 12pm. I got a text at 11:18pm checking to see if I had gotten home yet, which I had not. I called at 11:33pm, obviously tired, and told him I was headed to bed. Then I got a text at 9:30am the following day asking if I was up yet. *Sigh*

I texted him at 11am saying that I was running errands with my mom and using the day to recuperate from the weekend, so I would call him later in the day. He responded back, "Cool. Have a nice day." I thought, great, time for me to chill and not feel pressured.

9:20pm rolls around pretty quickly and I get a phone call from Mr. DJ. Yes, I did say I would call, and its nearly the end of the day, but come on! Can you let me do it in my time. And this is when I have my epiphany.

In our last episode I talk about Mr. Jackie, the guy I actually liked. Well... I think I may have been doing the same sort of bug-a-boo thing to him. We hung out one night and said that we would hang out again. I thought we were on the same page with how much we wanted to get together again, because he told me to call whenever I had a moment. So, I did. And when I did not hear from him I would check in to see what was going on. To me it may have seemed as if checking in after two hours was alright, but if the scenario is playing out like the one described above with Mr. DJ I see this is too much.

Now at the same time, I have to say that I was getting texts talking about him thinking of me, wanting to see me, replaying moments in his head, blah blah blah. When I responded to these comments with, plans to actually get together I would receive no response back or some excuse as to what he was doing. Even when he told me to call once I got home, I did, twice, and have yet to hear from him.

Ok...

I just went over the text messages for the weekend. Yes, I know I am a little sprung, but you all know you do the same thing in the privacy of your homes. So don't hate.

There is no way I am going crazy with how he was feeling about me. The problem is, as it is with Mr. DJ, I was too available. I know Mr. DJ will drop anything in a heart beat to hang out with me. He is constantly asking when is the next time we are going to get together and when he can see my beautiful eyes. I know that he would pay for everything if I let him and I could do nearly anything and he would still adore me.

The same goes for Jackie.

When I was in town, if Jackie wanted me to wait on him, I would have waited. If he wanted me to leave a party to see him, I would have left the party to see him. If he wanted me to spend time with him instead of taking my morning jog, I would have done it. Sprung and way too available. Men need to feel the chase, otherwise they are not interested.

Now that I have recognized this, how can I reverse it. I want to make him feel as if he has to work for me. That will put us on the same playing field and not make me a throw away.

We are in two totally different states, so in reality, this does not matter as much. But this is an experiment. And I feel used, abused, and am going to turn the situation around so that it benefits me! Isn't that partially what this is all about? Allowing the lady to get what she wants.

I want him to walk across four states to get me. This is going to be difficult, but I think I am ready for a tricky challenge. Watch out mista' you ain't seen nothing yet.

Advice

As I have been conducting these experiments I have recieved plenty of verbal feedback on the subject. I encourage you all to leave comments on the page so others can here your responses too. Here are a some thoughts and bits of advice people have passed on to me.


1. Women can pick up any man they want, and get what they want

2. Read Steve Harvey's "Act Like a Lady Think Like a Man"

3. Do not text the guy you are interested in. You can not tell the tone of their voice, and it is pure laziness in really trying to get to know someone from both ends.

4. Do not sleep with a man until after 3 months has passed.

5. Men are intimidated when you look too good.

6. Men want to feel WANTED not NEEDED.

7. Ask a guy out for dinner and see what he says.

8. Milwaukee men are not aggressive.

My next adventure is actually with two of my male friends and my wing lady. The men will act as if they are not with us but take the opportunity to observe us in action and for them to try picking up women. This may be a disaster. Or possibly not a factor at all. We shall see. Im a bit nervous, but hopefully the nerves will fuel me. Leave your thoughts and stay tuned!