The Date You Only See on Movies

Ever since I left Milwaukee my experiences with picking up men have been much more progressive and slightly effortless.

I went on a date with my beautiful dancing dread man, Stones, who we met in Simple is the Key.

This meeting which turned into a date was very impromptu. I had an extra ticket for a wine and cheese event at Projects Gallery in Philly and he was the one available person for the night to join me.

We met there, had two glasses of wine, conversed, laughed, and looked at art for about an hour. It was nice and easy; something you just do with friends. The night was young so we decided to head to another location for one more glass of wine and conversation. The wine was definitely settling in a bit more for Stones; bringing down his inhibitions. He is the nervous type. Not knowing what to say or do around women and talking a ton to hopefully make him seem at ease. So the wine helped him to relax and just be himself. Luckily, I have had practice in these "situations" and am a bit of a wino, so I was still holding my ground.

We hit up Red Sky on Market St. The place was cute and probably turned into a nightclub later. The red wine was watery, which I should have figured being that the bartender couldn't even pronounce Merlot correctly. Quite amusing, but regardless we were there to chat and once again, let go of all inhibitions.

In the moment, I decided to take this opportunity to work on my seduction skills to get what I wanted since he was not being an aggressor. What is it that I wanted from him? Affection, attention, and aggression. I like a guy who takes control so I was going to make him take the reigns.

With half a glass down, Janet Jackson's "Don't Stop" pulsing in the background, and my knees enclosed around Stone's thigh he knew I was giving permission to test the waters. Stones leans into me and sings an original piece he wrote in my ear. So sweet.

He took my hand and led me to Penn's Landing where fireworks were going off and boats were pushing their way through the water. Yes, ladies and gentleman, this really did happen. LOL!

We walked to the concert area and took over the space with our own renditions of songs and dances. Teeheehee...performers. He twirled around me with his remixed Michael Jackson moves that went from popping and gliding to slow dancing hand in hand. I sat on the concert steps and listened to him sing another one of his songs. Then he walked over wrapped his arms around me and gave me sweet sweet caramel kisses as a cool breeze blew his dreads over my shoulders.

Did I mention before that I drool over dreads. Their naturalness and connection to the earth is just gorgeous.

This beautiful moment brought to you by Tiffany and Stones was interrupted by a security guard yelling "Closing Up!". We laughed at how unreal our meeting, date, whatever it is turned out and began walking toward the car. The walk was littered with kissing finger tips, laughter, and noses touching our chins and throats.

The sweetest part of the whole deal is that we knew good and well that we aren't going to see each other again. I head to Michigan in two weeks and he will be staying in Philly.

Another kiss goodbye and we walked our separate ways.

I woke up this morning with a little red line down the side of my throat from our night. Embarrassing, but in a sense, a nice memory from a walk to remember.

Go ahead and tear your heart out. This story is for real. Now if I can just somehow make dates like these develop and last...

This is Why They Don't Call

I think I have had one of Oprah's "aha moments". Here is what happened...

Yesterday while driving back from Atlanta I got a phone call from Mr. DJ. I told him we were still on our way back. He should have already known, considering that I gave him this same information Friday as I was heading to Atlanta.

Mr. DJ said he was hoping to see me tonight. Ok, that is flattering but at the same time eager beaverish.

Then he asked me to call when I got home. I said alright, and told him that would be back between 11pm and 12pm. I got a text at 11:18pm checking to see if I had gotten home yet, which I had not. I called at 11:33pm, obviously tired, and told him I was headed to bed. Then I got a text at 9:30am the following day asking if I was up yet. *Sigh*

I texted him at 11am saying that I was running errands with my mom and using the day to recuperate from the weekend, so I would call him later in the day. He responded back, "Cool. Have a nice day." I thought, great, time for me to chill and not feel pressured.

9:20pm rolls around pretty quickly and I get a phone call from Mr. DJ. Yes, I did say I would call, and its nearly the end of the day, but come on! Can you let me do it in my time. And this is when I have my epiphany.

In our last episode I talk about Mr. Jackie, the guy I actually liked. Well... I think I may have been doing the same sort of bug-a-boo thing to him. We hung out one night and said that we would hang out again. I thought we were on the same page with how much we wanted to get together again, because he told me to call whenever I had a moment. So, I did. And when I did not hear from him I would check in to see what was going on. To me it may have seemed as if checking in after two hours was alright, but if the scenario is playing out like the one described above with Mr. DJ I see this is too much.

Now at the same time, I have to say that I was getting texts talking about him thinking of me, wanting to see me, replaying moments in his head, blah blah blah. When I responded to these comments with, plans to actually get together I would receive no response back or some excuse as to what he was doing. Even when he told me to call once I got home, I did, twice, and have yet to hear from him.

Ok...

I just went over the text messages for the weekend. Yes, I know I am a little sprung, but you all know you do the same thing in the privacy of your homes. So don't hate.

There is no way I am going crazy with how he was feeling about me. The problem is, as it is with Mr. DJ, I was too available. I know Mr. DJ will drop anything in a heart beat to hang out with me. He is constantly asking when is the next time we are going to get together and when he can see my beautiful eyes. I know that he would pay for everything if I let him and I could do nearly anything and he would still adore me.

The same goes for Jackie.

When I was in town, if Jackie wanted me to wait on him, I would have waited. If he wanted me to leave a party to see him, I would have left the party to see him. If he wanted me to spend time with him instead of taking my morning jog, I would have done it. Sprung and way too available. Men need to feel the chase, otherwise they are not interested.

Now that I have recognized this, how can I reverse it. I want to make him feel as if he has to work for me. That will put us on the same playing field and not make me a throw away.

We are in two totally different states, so in reality, this does not matter as much. But this is an experiment. And I feel used, abused, and am going to turn the situation around so that it benefits me! Isn't that partially what this is all about? Allowing the lady to get what she wants.

I want him to walk across four states to get me. This is going to be difficult, but I think I am ready for a tricky challenge. Watch out mista' you ain't seen nothing yet.

The Date

Imagine that, I finally got what I wanted. Well, at least 70% of it.

I am in Atlanta visiting family for Carnival Weekend. Of course, I can't allow an opportunity for hunting pass me by. I call up an old friend from college who lives in the area. Jackie was an admissions counselor at my college while I was there. The year I graduated is the same year that he accepted a job in Atlanta, therefore circumstances made it alright for us to converse in public. He is 32, 5ft. 4inches, good looking, smart, motivated,and a gentleman. I never thought about pursuing him until we actually hung out.

Isn't it amazing how the ones who are really for us end up being people we know.

Jackie has a problem of being a bit of a flake. His tail will keep you waiting all day while he is running about doing who knows what. The only reason why I deal with it is because I don't have any other options and I want this one. For once I found a man that I actually LIKE and WANT. Uhhh so frustrating! I find my type and I can't really have him because we don't live in the same area.

Jackie gets me around midnight and we head to The Highlands to grab a drink. Granted, I was already pretty loose after having 4 shots of tequila with my family, but I was ready for some more fun. Carnival weekend, enough said.

I have on my "F Me Dress" and dancing heels just to be sure he realizes the importance of spending ALL of his time very wisely with me. The first bar is a Frat scene. Not my style, but I choke it down in order to work some magic. We have lovely conversation. I keep my eyes glued to him with one hand, ever-so-gently, brushing his thigh. I can tell he is nervous because he keeps on smiling and looking away. Plus he only touches his fingertips to my knees as if he is scared of crossing the line. Its really adorable.

Before we head to the next bar I go to the bathroom, because something below is definitely off kilter. *Sigh* Why did Monet come to town.

Allow me to introduce you to Monet. She is my period. I named her because she is always with me. Such a beautiful thing that brings tons of complications. Tonight she is annoying because her presence places physical limitations. Yes, I like to have the option of going there if necessary, and I don't want to have to worry about accidents on my "F Me Dress"!

We leave the bar and head to another up the street for one more drink. As we walk to this bar I hook my arm in his until he decides we should hold hands instead. Homeboy started getting bold.

The next bar offers wine so I get a glass while Jackie gets some other coke concoction. As we are waiting for the drinks he massages my back. I tell him he can press harder. Hahaha, I'm such a lil flirt. Anyway he steps into me and presses harder. I can tell he is enjoying all of this.

WE grab a table outside of this adorable bar and chat some more. Jackie is a poet and he tells me that he is a hopeless romantic, hence the reason why many of his poems are about women. Can a girl ask for more? I'm really feeling him and he is saying all of the right things. He is completely honest about his feelings towards me and his wants. My ass is now a hot mess because I want him, but I am not about to be "playing house", as WL#1 would say. "Playing House" is acting as if you are in a relationship, although you know after a certain amount of time you all have to go on with your lives.

I tell him this, and he just continues to say that I have him for today and whatever other time we may scrounge up this weekend. Yes, I agreed to "playing house" although I shouldn't have.

Then we kiss.

We decide to continue our night, so we hop in his car and head back to his place to talk some more since the bars in the area were closing.

When we arrived at his adorable apartment we didn't have the chance to talk much. In the middle of it all, I think to myself, if there was an opportunity for this to be something for real, there is no way I would have gone to his place. But, since I only had him for the night I was going to take what I could get.

After a few hours he takes me back to my weekend lodging. Now ladies - please, please, please - whether you are doing the walk of shame or just leaving a location with a man; never look busted. Straighten your dress, fix your makeup, and comb your hair. You should look the same way you came in. Keep it classy.

Shit, I looked damn good when I walked out to his car and up my family's driveway.

We decided to get together at least once more this weekend. Has this happened? I would say not. Once again, flaky. Usually, I would push a guy to the side with this sort of habit, but since he is someone I want, it is much harder. I do wonder if we left out the physical portions of the night would he have been more adamant about actually getting together again or would it be the same. Honestly, I think it would be the same. And actions like that do not go over well with me. I am not an Easy Bake Oven. Popping me in then shooting me out. Uh uh!

I will say, although things had no chance of progressing I had a great time. And in actuality kind of met my goal. I say kind of because we did not have dinner and I do not get to follow this up. But I do know that he appreciates me as I do him. Also this shows me that there is hope in finding the right guy for me after all.

My Platonic Friend

Mr. DJ, who we met in our last episode, messaged me on facebook asking for my phone number. I told him that I enjoy making new friends, but if he is trying to do anything more than that, then I will not be passing on my phone number. We ended up exchanging numbers. I only know so many people in the area, so why not?

Three days later, I was the victim of a series of unfortunate events while attempting to hunt for men solo. So I decided to call him in hopes that the company and attention would improve my night.

When Mr. DJ and I spoke on the phone, he stated that I was a platonic friend so he did not have to get dressed for the night. I laughed and told him that was fine, but I would still be looking good. Why was he smelling of cologne and looking all sweet when he picked me up? MmmmHmmm, platonic friend my ass.

We headed to P.J. Whelihans which is a great bar/ restaurant for first time "meet-ups". TVs lined the walls and two guitarists sat on the porch playing for a small crowd. We opted for the bar area, put in our order of a rum and pineapple and a Heinekin with appetizers, and began to get to know each other a little better.

He made me laugh with his crazy stories about women picking him up in Jamaica and his ridiculous metaphors that only Caribbean people can put together. The funniest thing of the evening was how he ended every couple of sentences with "my platonic friend". He stated those words but his physical mannerisms were not representative of it. I never felt uncomfortable throughout the night, but he definitely cop'd a stroke of the thigh, a grab at the hand, and a kiss on the cheek. Mr. DJ has a way of turning almost everything into a joke. Although his touches, gazes, and flattery were all for fun there was truth under it all. Yep he wanted some of this, but I handled it by making it clear that we were only going to be friends. He heard me well and verbally agreed, but I don't know how well he actually listened to my statement.

Mr. DJ is a very generous and sweet person. I really enjoyed our evening together because he gave me the attention I wanted. Yes this is selfish, but its the truth. The problem with this is that I need to learn how to not lead people on. I have a tendancy to flirt and be suggestive even when I know that if he had the chance he would hop on this. Its nearly the same way I act with other male friends but I should be taking a step back since he does have a little crush.

We are supposed to get together again this coming week. I am not going to be a tease, but I am going to be myself and figure out how to be a real platonic friend.

Simple is the Key

I ventured to another nightclub Sunday night for some Caribbean music. I wasn't planning on hunting, but of course my eyes are always open.

Philly is turning out to have much more aggressive men than Milwaukee and Cherry Hill. That's an "A" plus plus in my book!

So we arrive at Cavanaugh's Riverdeck and start the night off with the signature rum and pineapple. My girl and I sit and chat while the crowd slowly seeps in. Next thing I know we have been approached by the DJ. DJ buys us drinks and chats us up for about an hour. He was warm, funny, and interesting but he revealed his age,39, and I had to give my little speech.

I said, "I am sorry, you are very sweet, I enjoy talking to you, but that is older than what I am looking for." Mr. DJ is Jamaican, therefore he was not taking no for an answer. He continued to chat us up, ask to take pictures, and insist on taking me out to dinner on Tuesday. A Soca song came on my girl pulled me to the dance floor.

It was a slow night so the regulars were taking over the dance floor and everyone else sat at the bar or watched from the sidelines. Out of nowhere comes the one guy that I happened to go on a date with nearly a full year ago. Powa is an American Haitian who records beats and music for a living, can dance like whoa, and has a hot hot double hot body. He looked much scruffier than before but still had the moves. I decided not to say anything to him because he was saying hello to every other girl on the deck. I am full of myself and can not stand when I am not unique to an individual. So I ignored him and refused to fall within the category of the random females that he knew.

As him and his boys took over the main dance floor I stood near the stage and did my two step with a few twists and rolls. Next thing I know, another man, who I realized later that I had danced with at this very club last year, came over and gave me a real good wine.

For those of you unfamiliar with the term "wine" it is in reference to a winding hip and waist movement generally done to Calypso, Soca, and most recently Dancehall music. People wine by themselves or with a partner. You will find that those from Trinidad can wine the best *wink*.

All a lady needs is one man to approach, and then all the other men want to try a bite too. Well I got a bit more than that. The main guy who was taking over the dance floor came over to me and of course I gave him a good wine to show him that he was not the only one that could do something out there. We started chatting and eventually made our way to a quieter portion of the deck to talk. I loved his style, he had dreads (something I tend to drool over), and seemed like an interesting person to have in my circle. He talked a bit too much for me, but I rode it out.

When we got back to the dance floor his homegirl was definitely mean grilling me as if I did something to her and she started to dance harder, Powa made sure to push up on several girls for the next two songs, and Mr. DJ immediately came over to stake his claims again. Such a funny thing to watch how everyone revamped their tactics to gain attention or pretend that they were cool. The girl who was my interest's friend even took the time to grab him for one full slow song. When I say grab, I mean that she wrapped her arms around his neck and did not let go till the end of the song while he didn't even touch her with his hands. It looked like a really sad attempt to claiming territory.

By the end of the night we exchanged numbers, he walked me to my car, and Powa acknowledged my existence by playfully wining up on me at the end of the night. Oh yeah, and Mr. DJ insisted that when I post our pictures on facebook that I leave my phone number for him.

What did I learn from this night? Less is best.

I was fully covered up with a knee length 3/4 sleeved dress, tights, and knee high boots. What got the men was that it accentuated all of my curves. Also I danced, but didn't dance too hard while standing solo. Two females in particular were working really hard for attention. One chic in white rubbed her body and showed her panties when her dress rode up. The girl that was mean grilling me allowed Powa to pick her up and wine on her and she got in the middle of their dancing in order to follow along or show them up. Yes she danced with her friends, but no one else except the nasty men wanted to dance with her. She was bringing the wrong type of attention and therefore receiving the wrong type of men. I have definitely been "that" girl before, but being able to observe and think over it, I can see the kind of attention received.

In all it was a successful night. Looks like I may be getting closer and closer to my goal.

Lessons from the club

Taylor's Nightclub was the spot last night in Cherry Hill NJ. And I was in for a great surprise. I was w/ my cousin, sister, and her boyfriend and ended up meeting three male friends there too. I had yet to work my skills among a large group. Especially one that had so many men. Also like I attested in one of my other posts, nightclubs are not a good place for picking up men. But of course, you know I still had to tread those waters to see if there was an opportunity. Here is what I found.

1. I found at least three men who fell into my type category, but they were not interested in talking or dancing with a sista' w/ natural twists. They were there for another breed. I'm trying not to hate. I am just a bit full of myself, if you haven't noticed yet

2. I grabbed a sensible target who I could tell just by the way he danced that we were on the same level. Some chic dropped down in the splits and was popping. I turned to him and said, "I cant do that." He replied, "I don't want you to do that. That is too much". "Okay," I thought, "he's got class". What turned me off from him is that he got aggravated every time someone stepped into our dancing space. Translation - Short Temper. Woman beater maybe? LOL! Naw I am not going to jump to conclusions.

3. This brings me to a point about dancing. Work it out whenever you are dancing. Toss that hair, roll that body, and pop the booty if you got it. But do know everyone is watching and the good ones, don't like unclassy women. Please do not put your leg in the air. Do not allow a man to lift you up. Do not sit on a man's lap when there is plenty of space around you to sit. Furthermore, do not find yourself dancing with a man backed up against the wall in a corner. People see this, and start to make assumptions. It also takes away the fun and mystery of the little secrets you save for those who really deserve it.

4. I danced with a decent looking, obviously older, man. He was wearing a tight black shirt that was tucked in...who else does that? It was nice dancing with him, but he was way too pushy. I started dancing with someone else and then he was grabbing my arm to try and buy me a drink. Not attractive nor persuasive. I don't know you and you do not know me. He got an F minus!

5. Bringing water to the pool never helps your situation. Guys were not intimidated by the fact that I had other male friends around, but my men were not afraid to cut in when they saw me dancing with someone else. Yeah... so I just let it be because there was no way I was going to strike up a converstaion at the time of the night And didn't even worry about it.

6. Once again a good wing lady helps out your situation a ton. I have some WL's in training with a bit of a different background. So the dynamic will be different from what I am used to but having support and encouragement is always helpful.

Last night was a good night. I can not wait to try some more out in this area, because I finally have some tangible options to play with. Till next time...

Solo Night

I am now in Jersey visiting my parents. The great thing is that I am home, 15miles from Philly and plenty of free time. The bad news is that I don't have many close, single, available, female friends in the area. How am I to continue my experiment without my wing ladies? WL#1 and WL#2 are the women I trust with my love life; I know their style, and they are nearly always available.

Whats a girl to do? I guess just go out by herself.

I got a boost this morning to be independent. So I jumped onto my lappy and found a Jazz/R&B/Blues/Neo-soul spot called Warmdaddy's in Philly. A restaurant/bar where I could sit back with a drink and people watch without looking pitiful because I was there for the "music".

I headed to the bar, grabbed a drink which was WAY stronger than I had wanted it to be (but it kept me there for the night in order to sober up)and found my perch near the front to listen to the band. I was definitely the Alpha female up in that piece. The problem was, I didn't have anything to work with. The band members had an artsy urban strong-black man look to them, but not really my type. The restaurant area was filled with graduates and their families. The bar area had couples, coworkers, 2 single men and then... me. Needless to say, if I was in a location in which I could scope out another bar or music spot for hunting I would have. So instead of hunting I observed my surroundings.

The most impressive action that caught my eye, was one of the trumpet players making love to his trumpet. Yes, I will say it again. The trumpet player making love to his trumpet. With his shoulder! It was soooo sexy. I am not stretching either when I say this. Homeboy riffed through the steady beat while keeping a smooth wave rolling through his shoulder throughout.

"Make'm say yeahhhhheh".

The lead vocalist was another one creating fire on the stage. He had so much swag that it made me want to have a bit of sit down time with him, and he was definitely not my type. A man that enjoys his meals and has little feet. Or more vividly put, someone that will crush you without giving you anything to tug on or work with. No thank you mam'.

I considered talking to the two single men at the bar, but I really had no desire. One guy was too old, and the other was a lil' white boy that looked lost. Nothing, zip, nada.

But I tell you what, I felt sexy as hell! I looked fly, the band was eyeing me, and the way they were grooving onstage made me wanna say ooowee. So although I did not get my target, I was semi-fulfilled through visuals and sound.

Look out for the next single lady adventure in this new area!

What Women and Petrone Can Do

Talk about a good time. I spent my last night with WL#2 and it was an adventure; 4 locations, tons of targets, plenty of tequila, and lots of lovin'. Yeah buddy!

We started at Hot Water Nightclub in search of WL#2's acquaintance's party. As soon as we walked in, the hounds were out. I guess the short men were feeling extra confident because they were all about approaching us no matter what. It was quite funny. Even the older men were on it, like they had that "it" factor. But you know what it was; little dresses with fuck me heels. MmmmHmmm that will do it.

So we finally found out her acquaintance was in the front of the bldg. We go to his party. Ummm...yeah... It made no sense for us to be there. It was a bunch of kids who had just graduated from college. Great celebration for them, but not the place for us to be. We took a shot of petrone, I talked to the DJ ( he had dreads, so you know I had to), danced to a song and peaced out.

We headed to 618. A club both of us have always vowed not to go to. It wasn't that bad, but definitely not a place I would frequent very much. By this time I was really loose and ready for anything. A dude passed me by and deliberately placed his hand on my waist for a Long Time. I told WL#2 and she told me to grab his butt. I said, "ok". And ran over to him and grabbed his butt. The next morning, I was like ummm that was an awkward grab, since I stumbled, let the hand linger, and then wobbled back to WL#2, but in the moment it was just funny. Homeboy approached and let me know that what I did was not smooth and much more than his touch. We laughed it off and he walked away. Then I saw a man who was definitely my type in pink. Once again WL#2 told me to go for it. I sashay over as if I owned the floor. And start dancing with him. It...took him by surprise and he got a bit into it until one of his girls leaned over and said sth to him in his ear. I was like, oh, are these your girls. He said, yeah, I'm sorry but thanks for the dance. I was like OK, thanks! And ran away.

WL#2 got a text from a mutual friend about him and his boy being at Notte. So we headed that way. We should have been there since the jump. The place was hopping. Beautiful men, hot music, and I was feeling right! To top it off my beautiful DJ friend grabs my arm gives me a big hug and kiss and gets WL#2 and I shots of Petrone.

Can we please take a moment for DJ Fred. This man is such a gentleman, a professional, and just too freakin' beautiful for his own good.

Back to our story.

After that, we took another shot of Petrone with our boys and danced it out for the rest of the night. Ohhhhh good times, good times. Unfortunately 2pm came and we had to get out. We got to my girls car and fortunate for us two hotties we had spotted in the club came up to our window. Here is where it gets good.

Mr. Brandon is an Arena Football player. Meaning he has a hot body and is strong. My kind of guy. And here's hoping he had a lil bit more. He took my hand and said the right things. Mmmm, yes. WL#2 also had another lovely Arena football player to entertain her. Needless to say, we didn't get dinner, but we scratched that itch. Thank goodness, cuz it was about time!

Success for my last time and I have to give a big thanks to WL#2. I don't know whats going to happen next, because I am no longer in Milwaukee, but I am still on the prowl. I plan on continuing to go out and being bold but I don't have my wing ladies. So look out for some different observations as the summer progresses. Trust, it will still be good!

What's a Daytime Girlfriend?

Friday night WL#1 and I made a stop at ZenDen. The crowd was a little skimpy but decent enough for our needs and diverse too. We were sitting by some dudes that were totally disinterested in us so we decided to make a quick move to two other men at the end of the bar.

Quick move was put at snail pace because the men got up and started talking to two females next to them. Ugh! We should have gone faster. Remember, like a Band-Aid.

So we sat back, sipped our drinks, and hoped for Prince Charming to walk in the door. He didn't come a walking in, but our targets at the end of the bar sat back in their original positions at the chair. Game on!

I did the 50/50 Abigail and they came right on over. One chatted it up with WL#1 and the other chatted with me. I wasn't really interested, but it was better than sitting and watching dudes walk by. I was receiving cute compliments, interesting questions, and good, respectful energy. Then things came to a halt as soon as my boy said he had a daytime girlfriend.

DAYTIME GIRLFRIEND?!?!?! Whats that supposed to mean? Someone please give me a definition because I did not get one from him. I hope the men who are in relationships are not walking around with daytime girlfriends and then at night laying low with their night time boo! That's straight up and down trash.

Needless to say, after about five more minutes of small talk WL#1 and I got to stepping back to the Cabaret for some more blues. Ha, how appropriate of our love lives.

Look out for WL#1 and my last adventure together, because she is about to head to VA. So sad, but I will make due