Its amazing how in Milwaukee you can barely find more than two places that foster a diverse crowd of people. After searching a couple of bars/clubs my winglady and I settled on a hot lil spot on the East side. Plenty of single ladies and men all looking to get a buzz and meet someone interesting. That was the funniest thing to look at. Large chunks of singles hanging together, looking around, calculating how to begin a conversation with there particular mystery man or woman.
I was among those chunks of people, but I was willing to pursue the situation. Then we spotted him. A smooth little dip and shoulder bop caught my eye and after much confidence coaching I went for it. Tapped Mr. Man on the shoulder, told him my girl and I saw him dancing and thought he was interesting. When he gets a moment he should could come talk to us. Then I walked away.
DAMN!!! That shit was scary. But it worked...
15min. later Mr. Man was at my side chatting it up with me and my girl. Then the ball dropped.
*INSERT a long "Ughhhh", that I clocked in my head in this moment*
OK, so what did we learn from this:
1. As soon as you see a target, take a breath and go for it. Same situation as Bandaids :)
2. Give him the option so he has to work a lil bit. And you can find out whether or not he is really interested
3. Take a good look at him before you actually go for it, to make sure you havent picked him up before, because that was AWKWARD!
What I need to figure out from this situation:
1. How to close the deal off when I am done with the conversation.
Any suggestions???? Leave your thoughts, so I can apply them tonight on my next man hunt adventure.
Personality definitely takes the driver's seat in these situations. Networking is often best, but if you're going out for a thrill pick-up, you've got some good ideas, Sista'.
ReplyDeleteDon't be afraid to make the first move, but keep the ball in his court. (Or, at least let him THINK the ball is in his court.) It's SO tempting to take control - especially if you have a controlling personality. If nothing comes of that, then on to the next!
I didn't have a boyfriend 'til I was 24, so I'm really good at being single. The thrill of the hunt is hot.
One way to make a guy come over to you is to flirt with your eyes. You should make direct eye contact with him from afar, smile, and silently mouth hello. Pause for a moment to see if he smiles back and looks interested. If he is, then gesture with your head or hand for him to come on over and give him a wink. He should come running if he is interested. This has worked very often for me.
ReplyDeleteTo end a conversation, you could always say "You see a friend you need to say hello to" (and then disappear), you could say "you got to go make a phone call", or just say "ok I'm gonna run. Nice talking to you." I use the last one a lot and it works.
Oooh I am SO sad I missed THAT awkward mess! haha I can't wait to read about more of your experiments! I think in term of ending the conversation - just keep trying different methods! Especially if it's a guy that ends up being a "not so much" - and see what happens! The men in Milwaukee best put their seat belts on!! haha
ReplyDeletehaha! I want to take lessons with you.
ReplyDeleteYour band-aid analogy is exactly right... You have to assess the situation and a move in for the approach within 5- 10 seconds. Props to you for doing that. However, you tapped him on the shoulder from behind? That's the difference between male and female PUA's. Males very rarely can do that without looking like a creeper. I'd be careful with doing that regularly. Come in from an angle and speak over your shoulder. That way you can show interest in them as well as make them work for your attention by making it seem you could leave at any moment.
ReplyDeleteIn response to your final question, it all depends on what kind of a close you are looking for. Figure out what you want from this man, and go from there...
All in all... nice work. Working on that Alpha Femaleness.
Well, Miss Lady,
ReplyDeleteWhen I want to close the deal at the end of the night, I touch his arm, or something, and excuse myself from the convo. I tell him that it was a pleasure to meet him, and that I hope we meet up again. If he's interested, he'll ask for your digits or e-mail. But, if I have to leave in a hurry, I'll just give it to him and tell him to use it. If he doesn't, I can take a hint! LOL :-)